He heals the heavy laden

There are just not enough hours in one day. I have a list of things a mile long to do and not nearly enough time to do them all. Blogging is not my top priority at the moment. In fact, it is not a priority at all. But I've had something on my mind tonight and I wanted to write down some thoughts. I've feel like I've learned 2 things in this last week.

1) Speaking without thinking is like shooting without aiming

Words. The words we say are something we can never take back. They have the potential to be remembered forever. We have the power to use our words to lift others up or bring them down. Every time we open our mouths to speak, we have a choice. We can ask ourselves this simple question "are my words helping or hindering those around me?" and "Do I want to be remembered by these words?"

I know recently I've had some words said to me that were pretty hurtful. You know those words that just make your heart hurt? Those kind. I'm usually pretty good at letting go and forgetting and forgiving. I feel like I have been able to forgive, but as I previously stated, you can never erase words. And sometimes, you unfortunately can never forget them. Or it can take great lengths of time. And there are those moments when you are just sitting. pondering. when those words come back to you. And you sit and dwell on them. And stress about them. And just fell yucky because of them. Words are powerful things.

One of my favorite christian rock songs is called "words" by Hawk Nelson. It says:

They've made me feel like a prisoner
They've made me feel set free
They've made me feel like a criminal
Made me feel like a king

They've lifted my heart
To places I'd never been
And they've dragged me down
Back to where I began

 

Words can build you up
Words can break you down
Start a fire in your heart or
Put it out

We cannot control the words that others say. We can only control our own words. I want to do my best to make sure the words I say are building others up and reflecting my best self.

 

2) Do not fear the future; go forward with hope and faith

 

Life is absolutely wonderful!! But life can be hard. And That's probably an understatement. We can spend our whole lives wishing, praying and hoping for a certain thing, thinking that when we receive it, our lives will be complete bliss. Then when it happens.... it's not as blissful as we expected. Trials and tribulations still occur. Temptations are still present.

 

Sometimes we feel like giving up. Well... sometimes I feel like giving up. Okay, a lot of times I feel like giving up. But I've found that I'm a lot stronger than I give myself credit for. Just when I think I've hit my breaking point and I think that I cannot go on anymore and I just want to quit life and all it's responsibilities and stresses and sit on my bed, under a blanket, drinking coke and eating Jalapeno poppers, and not come out for a week, I somehow manage to continue on.

 

On those days when I literally don't feel like I can continue on, I know that my Savior carries me until I can walk on my own. I have witnessed his hand in my life more times than I can count. There are many days, especially recently, that I don't think I could have gotten through without his help. His atonement includes not only physical ailments, but emotional, mental and spiritual sicknesses. He can and will heal us.

 

I read a talk yesterday by Dallin H. Oaks called 'He Heals the Heavy Laden' and it was fantastic.

It was from the October 2006 General Conference.

In it he says "at times we may despair that our burdens are too great. When it seems that a tempest is raging in our lives, we may feel abandoned and cry out like the disciples in the storm, "Master, carest thou not that we perish?" (Mark 4:38). At such times we should remember His reply: "Why are ye so fearful? how is it that ye have no faith?" (v.40) The healing power of the Lord Jesus Christ- whether it removes our burdens or strengthens us to endure and live with them like the Apostle Paul- is available for every affliction in mortality."

 

I don't know what God has in store for me in the future. I don't know what trials and tribulations I am going to have to endure. But I trust him. And I know that with his help, I can make it thought anything. Elder oaks continues to say "The Savior teaches that we will have tribulation in the world but we should 'be of good cheer' because He has 'overcome the world'.

Having faith in Christ is the key to happiness, even in times of hardship. I'm not even close to perfect at this. But I'm striving to be better. I've always been thankful for my trials. And I plan to continue to be. Yeah... a majority of the time they stink. But the lessons we gain from them are priceless. And they make us better people. God is making us better people. I want to be better. I want to learn and grow.

 

It's been a rough few weeks for multiple reasons. And I know the rough times aren't over. But God hasn't left me alone yet. And I know he doesn't plan to. And that is a comforting thought and it makes me less scared for the future and hard times that are up ahead.

 

 

 

 

 

The question has been popped

John Cozzens and I have known we wanted to get married for quite some time. At the beginning of August we went on a camping trip with Kayla and Logan, Blaire and Julio. The topic was subtly hinted at. He told me that he had a very personal experience in the temple that made him feel good about me. Fireworks were involved. Literally. :) While I was at EFY I myself had prayed about him and got a peaceful feeling. I knew that I was going to marry him pretty early on.

We dated all through July and half of August without being official boyfriend and girlfriend. On 8/12/14 John told me he loved me and then asked me to be his girlfriend. That escalated quickly. ;) That night we started briefly talking about getting married. About a 2 weeks later, which was the week before school started, we went through the Ogden Temple open house. It was breathtaking! We decided that was where we wanted to be sealed! :) As soon as we were done we went out to the car and called and set up our appointment. Things REALLY escalated quickly! But when you know, you know.

It's been a great four months with John. We've definitely had our ups and downs. But no relationship is perfect. And I'm learning that to have a successful relationship you have to put in 100% every day! It requires sacrifice on both sides. It is built on a love of the gospel, love for your partner, friendship, and trust. Relationships aren't easy. But they are worth the work.

John and I went ring shopping and picked out a gorgeous ring at sears. :) I knew the proposal was going to be happening soon. This last Monday (the 22nd) I told John we should go on a date the next day to Temple square. I asked him what we should do before temple square and he told me he had surprise for me. I instantly knew he was going to propose that night. I had to work that day and it was thee longest day of my life, because I knew what was in store for me that night! ;) I was SOOO excited!

I met John at his house after work. He told me to put on all my warm clothes and get into the car. He proceeded to blindfold me. That was a weird experience, folks. We drove for about 10 min. and once he parked his car he lead me out of the car to a bench. I could hear laughing and I could see flashes. I knew people were there and were taking pictures!!!

 He took the blindfold off of me and we were in front of the Ogden Temple!! Jen, Kayla, Logan, Jenny, Andy, Desmond, and Johns mom and dad were there!! I felt a little disoriented because I wasn't expecting to see all these people and it was SO bright! haha John sat next to me with his guitar and sang me a song that he had written to me. It was SO sweet! :) :) All I could think about was how lucky I was to get to spend forever with the man of my dreams. The man that I love more than anyone of anything!

He then got down on his knee and asked me to marry him! :) Um, and of course I said yes!!


The question has been popped!

 

We took some pictures and then departed and went on a fancy, romantic date! He took me Macaroni Grill because he knew I wanted to go there for my birthday but didn't get to go!! (adorable) Our waiter was so nice. He bought us dessert because we just got engaged! I love Macaroni Grill because you can draw on the tables. But is fancy! So we played hangman upon waiting for our meals. :) After dinner we went to temple square to look at the lights. It was romantic. It was fun. It was freezing!! haha

I'm so in love with John Cozzens and I've never been more sure about anything! We shall be sealed in the ogden temple on May 1st. :) :) His proposal was perfect and better than I could have imagined! :) I'm excited to marry my best friend!

The ring! I'm engaged!!!!



"going to the temple and we're gonna get married"

Best hug ever!

Our first date as an engaged couple! :)

Temple square lights. It's on 14 degrees. No big deal.

24 never looked so good

So... it was my birthday on Saturday! I am officially 24, people. It's always surreal when my birthday comes because that means it's also Christmas and the end of the year is just around the corner. But I love starting a new year and looking back at how much progress I have made in the last year and thinking of ways I can improve myself for the upcoming year.

This years birthday was pretty great, although it didn't go exactly as planned. John called me around 10:30 pm the night before because he was at work and there wasn't a customer in sight. He was scheduled to work until 12:30 am so I wasn't planning on seeing him that night. We talked until about midnight, but seconds after I hung up the phone he called again saying he got off work a half hour early! So we talked on the phone for awhile more while I cleaned my room, because it was/is a disaster. He kept asking me if I was going to bed soon and how much longer I was going to clean. When I asked him why he wanted to know he responded with "I have my reasons". Not suspicious in the slightest. ;) A few minuets later, he told me he was almost to my house! Um... adorable! He showed up to my house with a present for me!! He made me a cute poster and got me some slipper socks! It was the best present to be able to see him for a few minuets! He is very thoughtful!

In the morning, the fam-bam decided to go to breakfast at Crackle Barrel. Jason flew in that morning from Texas so that was a great birthday present to be able to spend my birthday with him. After breakfast John and I decided to go skiing! It was his first time so I was teaching him! John knows how much I hate driving so he made sure that on my birthday I didn't have to do any driving. He also filled up my car with gas for me. :) Once we made our way through the long, snowy drive up the canyon to Powder Mountain, we found that the resort was closed. CLOSED! So unfortunately skiing didn't happen. And I admit I was pretty disappointed. But we decided to go bowling instead. We had talked about how we had been wanting to go! We had a great time, despite the fact it was our plan B. Wanna know the best part of it?! I beat John!! I BEAT JOHN!!! That never happens! Neither of our scores were good. But it was fun! After bowling we drove through the Layton Park Christmas lights. While we were waiting in the line of cars, we listened/made fun of Justin Bieber's songs "Little Drummer Boy". haha Just because it's so ridiculous. hahaha

Breakfast with the family!

Bowling! We worked HARD to get this picture ;)

Proof that I beat John Cozzens in something!!!! :) :)

After the lights we met the family at Roosters for my birthday dinner! To finish the night we went back to our house and opened presents. I got a temple bag, a book about taking our your endowments, a book to plan my wedding, a few piano books, a gift card to café rio, tabasco sauce, gloves, lotion, a smiths giftcard, charming charlies giftcard, and a scarf! :) John also got me the softest blanket! Over all it was a pretty fantastic birthday!! I'm super blessed to have the family I do and the amazing boyfriend I do! ;) The next day, (Sunday) Jen made my the dinner of my choice (Chicken-Cordon-Blu) since Mom and Dad were gone, and she made me 2 cakes! :)

Roosters Birthday Dinner with my favorite people!

We then played the picture game! John drew the funniest picture of an "awkward first date". It was so funny because it was of things that had happened to us!! He drew a picture of our awkward door step scene where we sat on the ground, linked arms, and then stood back up! haha He also drew 2 people getting flu shots on a date, which I did with Chase once! haha So, I'm pretty lucky and it was a great birthday!! 24 never looked so good!

John's interpretation of an "awkward first date" hahaha

Happiness Tips

There is an article going around on Facebook called "10 happiness tips from Gordon B. Hinckley". I loved it and felt it was something worth remembering. We all have moments in our lives where our happiness levels aren't quite where we want them to be. It could be due to the fact that things in our lives aren't going the way we want, or because of trials we are facing. Sometimes we simply just have a bad day! There tips a good reminder of how to keep a positive attitude and be happy no matter our disposition.

Tip 1:The Purpose of Life is to be Happy
"Life is to be enjoyed, not endured"

I feel that we are all entitled to bad days. It's okay to show upset emotions and to even complain once in awhile. It is alright to EXPRESS yourself! But when doing so, it's important to keep the perspective that life is supposed to be happy. In difficult times, I guarantee we could all still find happy things in our lives. Whether it be the sunny weather all the way to knowing there is a God who loves his children. By looking at the small details of our lives, we will see what really matters most and see all the happy things in our lives!

Tip 2: Happiness cannot be achieved if we are selfish and complaining
"Generally speaking, the most miserable people I know are those who are obsessed with themselves; the happiest people I know are those who lose themselves in the service of others…By and large, I have come to see that if we complain about life, it is because we are thinking only of ourselves."

Complaining can be therapeutic. And sometimes you need to get those emotions out so you don't explode! But... it's important to not dwell on the negative and to know how to move on with life. Having a glass half full type attitude can change your whole perspective on life! No one likes to be around someone who is negative, selfish, and complains all the time. The more we think of others and participate in service, the less we think of ourselves. That gives us less time to dwell on our problems. Think positive thoughts! : )

Tip 3: God is in charge when we are obeying his commandments
"It isn’t as bad as you sometimes think it is. It all works out. Don’t worry. I say that to myself every morning. It all works out in the end. Put your trust in God, and move forward with faith and confidence in the future. The Lord will not forsake us. He will not forsake us. If we will put our trust in Him, if we will pray to Him, if we will live worthy of His blessings, He will hear our prayers."

God is with us every step of the way. During the good times and the bad times. This reminds me of that poem about the foot steps in the sand. It is one of my favorites!!

During times of trials, the Lord lifts us up and carries us. But we have to do our part and trust in him. We have to do what he asks of us and keep his commandments. He loves us. He listens and answers every prayer. He is in every detail of our lives.

Tip 4: Set realistic goals for yourself
"Aim high, but do not aim so high that you totally miss the target."

Don't set goals that are impossible to meet and that will make us feel like we have failed at life if we don't complete them. Remember that God typically uses positive motivation, while Satan tries to make us feel “not good enough” and discouraged.

I was an EFY counselor this past summer and we always taught the kids to make "SMART" goals.
S- Specific. When your goal is specific, it has a greater chance of being completed than a general goal. To set a specific goal you can ask six "W" questions. Who (who is involved), What (what do I want to accomplish), Where (Location), When (Time frame), Which (requirements and constraints), and why (specific reasons, purposes or benefits of accomplishing the goal).
M-Measurable. Measure your progress. This helps you stay on track and creates accountability.
A-Attainable. Don't set goals that is too hard for you to accomplish. But don't set goals that are too easy either. You want to challenge yourself, but in a way that will help you grow and not fail.
R-Realistic. Your goal needs to be something that you are willing and able to work at.
T-Timely. Set a time frame. When there is no time frame, procrastination is easier to develop. There is no sense of urgency. The mentality of "I'll get around to it eventually" sets in.

Tip 5: Laughter is the best medicine
"In all of living, have much fun and laughter."

Studies have found that laughter and exercise have similar effects on your body. A 2006 study showed that it took 10 min on a rowing machine for your heart rate to reach the level it would after just one minuet of heavy laughter. It also seems that laughter burns calories. 10 to 15 minutes of laughter about 50 calories.

Laughter is not only good for your body, but it is contributes to our attitude. Laughter is contagious and it creates a pleasant atmosphere towards the people around us. So laugh at yourself. And laugh at the curve balls that life throws at you.

Tip 6: Praying
"Let us never forget to pray. God lives. He is near. He is real. He is not only aware of us but cares for us. He is our Father. He is accessible to all who will seek Him."

Prayer is a powerful resource that we are able to use anytime. I know that I sometimes forget I have that tool available to me. God is willing to help us if we ask him. He wants to help us! If it is important to us, it is important to him! He cares about even the smallest of things. I have 2 examples of this.

I went to Japan earlier this year with my best friend, Nat. While I was there I got this ring. I am a very sentimental person, especially when it comes to jewelry. Ever since I got this ring, I haven't taken it off. It reminded me of Natalie (who was on a mission) and of Japan! I was at work at my spa, and I was cleaning and lost my ring! I looked and looked and looked for it and could not find it! I was SO upset. And I thought to myself "why am I so upset, it is just a ring!" But honestly, it meant a great deal to me. So I went into the bathroom, and prayed asking that Heavenly Father would help me know where to look. A few minuets later, I felt that I should look behind a chair in one of the rooms. It was there!! I know the Lord answered my prayer. There is no way that was a coincidence. He cared about my ring, even though it was something so silly. He cared because it was important to me, and I am important to him!

My second story is about EFY. I had a training week in Provo at the beginning of the summer. The last day of the week I went to the dance with my kiddos. One of my girls was having a hard time at the dance because none of the boys were asking her to dance. I saw her in the corner crying. There were so many people around that there wasn't much I could do. So I walked away from the dance and said a quick prayer asking that I would get a moment alone with her. Literally seconds later, she asked if I could take her to the bathroom. Girls ALWAYS go to the bathroom with their friends, especially teenage girls! This girl turned to her friend and asked if she wanted to come with her and her friend, after thinking for a moment, said she was going to stay at the dance. That was perfect because I would have a moment alone with her. As I walked her to the bathroom, I stopped and asked her if she was okay. She broke down and started talking to me! It gave me an opportunity to talk to her. It was amazing because I knew exactly what to say. It was like I wasn't the one speaking. Random scriptures were popping in my head! When we came back to the dance, I said one more little prayer asking that she would get asked to dance. The next 2 slow songs she got asked to dance!

I know God answers our prayers. Both of these experiences are things that are so simple. They were not extravagant experiences or huge things I prayed about. God cares about the small, simple things just as much as the life changing experiences in our lives.

Tip 7: Have a positive Attitude
"Stop seeking out the storms and enjoy more fully the sunlight."

Complaining all the time isn't going to solve your problems. It is only going to keep you in a bad mood and impact those around you in a negative way. Our thoughts are very powerful. I believe that if we were to realize just how powerful our thoughts really were, we would think less negative thoughts. Our thoughts lead to our actions.
"A negative mind will never give you a positive life"

Tip 8: Happiness requires work
"The best antidote I know for worry is work. The best cure for weariness is the challenge of helping someone who is even more tired. One of the great ironies of life is this: He or she who serves almost always benefits more than he or she who is served."

When we serve others, we forget ourselves. We forget our problems and trials. We become selfless. We become more like Christ. I think of all the stories of Christ and how almost every single one of them includes him working and helping those around him. He is always healing, ministering, teaching, forgiving, praying, ext.. He is always doing something that is going to help others. That is what we are supposed to be doing. By doing so, it will create a sense of happiness in our lives.

Tip 9: Study things that matter
"You can be smart and happy or stupid and miserable. . . it’s your choice"

I feel like this goes hand in hand with having good priorities. By spending our whole lives watching TV or playing video games, we are missing out on educating ourselves on things that really matter. We have to remember that the education we learn here on earth, we get to take with us in the next life. It is important to keep an eternal perspective. Studying and becoming educated in the gospel and school work that is beneficial creates happiness.

Tip 10: Read More
"It is both relaxing and invigorating to occasionally set aside the worries of life, seek the company of a friendly book…from the reading of ‘good books’ there comes a richness of life that can be obtained in no other way."

My patriarchal blessing talking briefly about how important 'good books' are. This goes hand in hand with 'studying things that matter'. I think that the scripture fall greatly into this category. By studying the scriptures and becoming educated on gospel doctrine, we will become happier and gain a better relationship with our Father in Heaven.

The gospel in the only true way to happiness. One of my favorite quotes is "Satan's way is the easy way, but Gods way is the happy way". I believe that. Obeying the commandments and trusting in God isn't always easy. Sometimes our plan and his isn't the same. But he knows what will make us happy. But we can be happy by gaining knowledge of the gospel, having good priorities that help us keep an eternal perspective, keeping a positive attitude, working hard, helping others, forgetting ourselves, praying, laughing even during times of tribulation, setting goals, becoming selfless, and remembering that God wants us to be happy.

I'm thankful to have this knowledge and to know that God loves us and wants us to be happy. :)

Because Of Him

I received an e-mail from Nat today! I love getting her e-mails and hearing how she is doing! Today

was a very inspiring letter. She included a great conference talk by President Uchdorf about managing your time and slowing your life down. When your life is full of stress, it's important to remember what things really matter. :)

I wanted to include some of Natalie's letter because it was SO good! She wrote:

?We ate Lunch at a member's home, Maria José. It was a wonderful meal. Except, Maria José kept returning to the kitchen to clean the dishes instead of eating with us. Afterwards, we shared a spiritual thought with her and her family. Maria José broke down in tears during the message and could not stop. Her tears grew and eventually the silence around us grew with it. "Maria José, Are you okay?" I asked. She replied, "I am so stressed. My home is a mess and I have so much on my mind. So many things I have to do."

How many times do we have moments like this? ...This is what made me think.

It reminded me of a talk given quite a few years ago in a General Conference. They gave an example of a child cleaning up toys. There was a box for a set of zoo animals and the child started by picking up all the small little animals like chickens, hens, sheep and stuffed it in the box. Nearing the end of all the toys to clean up, the last one remaining was a large giraffe. The child in frustrations tried stuffing the giraffe in and closing the lid to the box. But of course, the lid wouldn't close. Going to her grandma, she asked for help. The grandmother saw that what needed to be done was to dump out all the small animals and start over again placing the big ones in first.

How many times do we stress about putting in the small things first? How many times do we stress about our upswept floors or whether we will have a perfect meal to feed to our kids each day?...or even to feed to the missionaries?, haha.

What are the big things to put in the box first? Elder Uchtdorf explained here...

 

 

We need to remember our self worth does not reflect on our to do lists. We must prioritize our lives and decide what is good, better and best. Uchtdorf also talks about 4 relationships that are most crucial in our lives. Our relationship with God, our Families, our fellowmen, and ourselves.

 

Natalie continues on saying: "Don't let the temporary stresses of the world stop you from taking in the things of eternal value. Remember Mary, who chose the better part, something she will never lose throughout all eternity. Remember to put the small things after."

 

 

Lastly, Nat included an AMAZING Mormon message. It includes such basic truths, yet is so powerful.

 

In Alma 7:11-13 it says:

11 And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.

 

 12 And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities

.

 13 Now the Spirit knoweth all things; nevertheless the Son of God suffereth according to the flesh that he might take upon him the sins of his people, that he might blot out their transgressions according to the power of his deliverance; and now behold, this is the testimony which is in me.

 

The Atonement of our Savior was an act the is unfathomable!! It effected every person who has lived and will live on this earth. Our Savior continues to live and continues to love us. He died for every single one of us and as he knelt, pleading with God in the Garden of Gethsemane, he felt each and every one of our pains and afflictions, individually. One by one. Because of him there is hope. Because of him there is happiness. Because of him there is life. Because of him there is repentance. Because of him we never have to be alone. Because of him there is no end!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Love Text's

So... you know the love languages? Physical touch, Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Quality Time, and Acts of Service. My boyfriend, John Cozzens, is pretty much amazing. He is stellar in all of these categories! But he is especially great at words of affirmation!! I was going back through my texts and he is absolutely adorable! :) I wanted to write down some of the things he said to me to remember how sweet (and hilarious) he is so I could remember them! This post is for me!! I'm so in love with this boy!!!

July 4th 2014
"I appreciate your face too! Have a happy 4th! You should have your kids yell BOOM! BLAM BA BAM BAM! Like fireworks... it might not work unless you hear my demonstration.... ;)"
(In reference to my EFY kiddos!)

July 16th 2014
"I'm home. Thank you very much for letting me come over! Thanks for giving me time to talk about my feelings too ;) I'm happy about tonight!"
(In reference to when he first told me that he really liked me!!)

July 17th 2014
"Thanks for caring about me! That helps by itself! Anyways I think you're amazing and I really enjoyed today! Have a happy night Kaylee Furlow"
(This was after our... first date as dating? We spent the day at Lagoon! He didn't feel very good after the date! But he was still so sweet and optimistic!)

July 22nd 2014
"So there are over 20 tiny little spiders in the bathroom between my room and James room. So far I've just let them be. I found more in the hall around the bathroom too. James said he would forget how to brush his teeth! I asked him what he actually said was he forgot how to brush his teeth. He won't go in that room because he doesn't want to get demons on him. He had to brush downstairs."
(this text needs no explanation. Just EW!)

 July 25th 2014
"hey Kaylee Furlow! Have a happy night, and also I miss you! Let me know if you need anything! :)"

July 30th 2014
"Do not be afraid of making mistakes. Everyone... makes mistakes. People will understand, and they will appreciate your efforts... (preach my gospel P.131)"

July 30th 2014
"The same God that placed that star in a precise orbit millennia before it appeared over Bethlehem in celebration of the birth of the Babe has give at least equal attention to placement of each of us in precise human orbits so that we may, if we will, illuminate the landscape of our individual lives, so that our light may not only lead others but warm them as well (Elder Neal A Maxwell)"
(John would send me quotes and scriptures while I was at EFY. He was so helpful!!)

July 31 2014
"From my spiritual journal: (21 June 2011) In contrast to what the character Thumper said from his mother in Bambie, "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all", an EFY participant said "if you have something nice to say, say it!" something is as sacred as you make it. Life is an exciting adventure as you keep yourself morally clean. If you do not, you experience personal sorrow, you give up the ability to feel bit by bit. I especially like "if you have something nice to say, say it. You are amazing Kaylee Furlow! Have such a wonderful day!"

July 31 2014
"Hey good looking! ;) I hope your Thursday was awesome! Let me know if you need anything! You're the best! :)"

August 1 2014
"Thank you so much for just listening to me. That means a lot to me! I usually have a hard time admitting if I'm having a hard time, I thin I don't even realize to myself I am having a hard time sometimes. I guess that's life. Kaylee Furlow I really like you! Thank you so much for everything! You've blessed my life so very much too! Seriously, you put to shame other girls that I've dated. lol Kaylee Furlow, you're the best!"

Aug 1, 2014
"Kaylee Furlow! I get to see you soon! You're amazing and those girls and your whole company is lucky to have spend the week with you! You may not get to see it yet, like Abinadi, but your influence will be remembered by your girls, and even if not, it will have done so much for you and your Father in Heaven knows of your efforts! It will come in hand in the future, I'm sure! I know its a suber busy night but if you want to talk for just a minute, let me know! Thank you for living the principles of the gospel and being there for those girls! :) :) :) thank you for being there for me too! :) You're my favorite!"

Aug 5 2014
"Kaylee Furlow (I misspelled your last name and my phone thought I was trying to say duplex) You are amazing! Thank you for being so sweet! And for letting me be a teacher today! Thank you for spending time with me! It means the world to me! Have a wonderful night! Also, you're amazing! :) :)"

Aug 6, 2014
"Hey beautiful Kaylee Furlow! I made it home! I'm glad I got to see you! Writing was fun! Thanks for everything! Lee Lee you are wonderful. Have a great night! ;) ;) (p.s this is hilarious, so when I tried to put your name as Lee Lee my phone tried to sabotage it by writing JFF JFF! You might be right about my phone after all!"
(So... Johns phone has it out for me. It will not remember me and when it did it put me in as Kaylee Furlong!! John had to memorize my phone number so he would know when it was me calling. JFF stands for Just friends forever! We decided his phone was jealous of me ;) haha"

Aug 7 2014
"Aw, Kaylee Furlow! You're amazing and sweet and can't be beat! (it rhymes, so it must be true!)"

Aug 11, 2014
"Dear Kaylee Furlow, thank YOU for an amazing perfect week! I adore you! I'm so glad I get to spend so much time with you, let's make that a habit pretty please! :) :) :) You make me so happy! I really am awfully fond of you. You're my favorite! :) :) :) You're so wonderful inside and out! Sweet dreams! I'll see you soon! :) :) :) :) P.s I love your family!"

Aug 12 2014
"Kaylee Furlow, time is going so slowly without you!!"

Aug 13, 2014
"Hey Kaylee Furlow I'm home safe! Sweet dreams! I love you! :) "
(This was the first text that he said I love you in!!!)

Aug15 2014
"Kaylee Furlow! I do love you! Really I do! You make me sincerely happy! I want to make you happy too! You're wonderful! I plan to keep you! Sweet dreams!"

Aug18, 2014
"My dear girlfriend, I adore you, and you made today wonderful! Thank you! I love you so much! I will see you soon! Sweet dreams Kaylee Furlow! p.s My phone forgot who you are again!"

Aug 18, 2014
(He wrote me a poem! Adorable!!)

Kind
An Angel
Your Adorable Smile And Beautiful Eyes
Lovely Voice
Everything I'm looking For
Empathy

Nice To Everyone
Obscure Songs
Enchanting
Loving
Living By The Principles Of The Gospel
Eye-Catching

Faithful
Understanding
Respectful
Love Of My Life
Obliging
Welcoming


I love you, you mean so much to me. Thank you for everything Kaylee Noelle Furlow!

Aug 20, 2014
"Good morning sweetheart. :) I'm thinking about you :) have a wonderful day at work! :) You make me very very happy! :) I'm still sick but I am feeling like I'm on the recovery side of it. I love you so much Kaylee Furlow! :) :) :)"

Aug 20, 2014
"Hi Rubber Ducky! (can I call you that? Because you're the one!) Goodness glaciers I'm excited to see youuuuuu! :) :) :) :) :) :) :) I love you! :) :) :) :) :)"

Aug 22, 2014
"Good morning love! I hope you have a wonderful day at work! I'll be missing you! I love you Kaylee! :) :)"

Aug 22, 2014
"Kaylee Furlow! You're my favorite! Thank you so much for yesterday! Only 272 days, 23 hours, and 36 minutes left!! I love you so much!!"

Aug22, 2014
"Hey remember that time I kissed you and we started laughing? I love you Kaylee!"

Aug 26, 2014
"Kaylee Furlow, I'm thinking of you! I am excited to see you today! I hope your day is awesome! I love you! :) You are amazing!

Aug 27, 2014
"You are my sunshine, Kaylee Furlow"

Aug 28, 2014
"Kaylee Furlow! I love you! I loooove youuuuu! Have sweet dreams! You are amazing! You make me better by your influence! You make me happy! You are sooo beautiful! :) You really are like a wonderful dream come true :) Sweet dreams! I'll see you soon"

September 1, 2014
"Kaylee Furlow! I am soooo happy! I love you with all my heart! I am totes the goat, cray cray in love with you! You are the best ever! I want to make you soooo happy! You make me want to be the best I can! Have sweet dreams!"

September 3, 2014
"Kaylee Noelle Furlow, you are my favorite! I am so happy you are in my life! I want your life to be wonderful! I want to be the best John Cozzens I can be! My heart belongs to you Kaylee Furlow! I love you!! :) Have a wonderful night! Sweet dreams!"

September 3, 2014
"Kaylee Furlow, living the gospel, and my relationship with you are more important in the long run than a class. I'll always love you."

September 4, 2014
"Kaylee Furlow! I get to see you too! I am totes the goat excited! You made more than my day, you make my life! Basically, you are the best ever! I love you! :) :) :) :) :) :) :)"

September 5, 2014
"Kaylee Furlow! I want to be yours forever! I'm so glad I got to spend time with you today! I love you with all my heart!! Sweet dreams! I found the apples! I'll see you soon!"

September 7, 2014
"I'm home safe! Kaylee Furlow! Sweet dreams! I'll see you soon! I'll take good care of your heart! :) I love you!"

September 9, 2014
"Kaylee Furlow! I love your face! And I love you! You are the best! I get to see you today lots! Thank you for reading scriptures with me last night! You're an angel! :) :) :) :) I've been very blessed to have you in my life and I'm excited for our future! I love you!"

September 10, 2014
"You make me soooo happy Kaylee Furlow"

September 12, 2014
"Good morning, good looking! I Loooove you! I want to make you macaroni and cheese today! Have a wonderful time at work! You're my inspiration, Kaylee Furlow! I am completely totally in love with you! you have changed my life! I want to marry you! :) :) :) :) :) :) "

September 14, 2014
"Kaylee Furlow, you are perfect for me! I love you with all my heart! I'm excited to see you! :) :) :)"

September 17, 2014
"Good morning sweetheart! I love you! Have a wonderful day! I will see you soon! You are my favorite! Kaylee Furlow, you are an answer to many prayers of mine! :) :) :) :)"

Septbemer18,2014
"Kaylee Furlow, love of my life, my rubber ducky, my sweetheart, good looking, my girlfriend, my fiancé (no official ring yet, my sunshine, my best friend, my favorite, the most attractive girl in the whole choir, angel, beautiful, exactly who I need, my happy thought, the answer to so many of my prayers, mine, choice daughter of our Heavenly Father, soooo sweet, I love you with aaalllll my heart! Sweet dreams! I will see you soon!"

September 21, 2014
"Kaylee Furlow, I am home safe. I am so grateful for you! You've changed my life, and I am so glad it's you that I will get to marry and spend eternity with. I love you! I will love you forever!"

September 23, 2014
"Kaylee Furlow! You are my favorite! Along with the gospel and my family ;) You are a priority to me. You make me so happy Kaylee! I love you so much!"

October 5th, 2014
"I'm thinking of you! :) :) :) :) You are the love of my life! I don't just think that, I know that (Just like my grandpa said I would!) I loooove you!"

October 6th 2014
"You make me so happy Kaylee Furlow! YOU complete ME! I love you!"

October 13, 2014
"Kaylee Furlow, you are an amazing girlfriend! You're the best girlfriend I've ever had! I love you!"

October 19, 2014
" "Open when you feel hopeful about the future" I just read your letter, you make me sincerely happy, and I am sincerely in love with you! I love you forever! I'm so excited to be a family with you and I'm excited for eternity and especially with someone as sincerely good as you! Also As I have mentioned, and will mention again, I love you! You are SOOO sweet! :) :) :) :) :) :) ) I am gladyou are home safe! Sweet dreams!"
(For Johns birthday I gave him a bunch of letters that he is supposed to open on certain occasions! This specific one he read was meant to be opened when he felt hopeful about our future. There were others such as open when you are stressed, or sad, or happy!)

October 27,2014
"You made today better :) I'd rather have days like this and see you than have easy days with you. I love you!"

November 8, 2014
"I just saw a little girl in a snow white dress! ;)"
(John is in love with Snow White. I hate her. haha)

November 10, 2014
"I want to see you. You are so very very important to me. Kaylee Furlow I wish we were neighbors. I would love for you to come over for a little bit!"

November15, 2014
"I really Really really love you Kaylee Furlow! I want to marry you! You make me so happy! You are a sincerely good and kind person! You really do love the Lord and live by the principals of the gospel. You are good for me! You  make me better!"

November 17, 2014
"Kaylee Furlow! I loooove your face! I am so very lucky ;) ;) I want to talk to you tonight! And I want to spend more time with you tomorrow! And I want so spend forever with you! And I want to marry you! And you are wonderful! :) :) :) :) :)"

November 19 2014
"Um, I adore you!"

November 28, 2014
"I love you Kaylee Furlow! I want to marry you! You are very good to me! Thank you for a wonderful thanksgiving! Have a good time in the morning when you read this! Also thanks for being so kind listening to me about my worrying about the future. You are wonderful! Happy Christmas! I'm glad you got to spend some time with my family! And thank you for being ok with sticking around when I wanted a nap! I really really love you with all my heart! We still have lots in that question book to go through, and I'm excited to! I love talking with you and I loved figuring out our future and getting to I know you better! You make me soooo happy! I love how considerate you are!And you are so pretty! I'm so lucky! You really are so kind and I'm in love with you! I will love you forever Kaylee Furlow!"

Having Faith in God's Timing

Life doesn't always turn out the way we plan. I speak from recent experience. I look at where I am now compared to where I had planned to be and it's not even close. With that being said, sometimes the things you want most in life come when you least expect them (so cliché, I know). Timing is EVERYTHING!!! I've learned just how important it is to have faith in God's timing. He really does know what is best and WHEN it is best.

I had planned on going to school full time, working part time at the spa, maybe taking a few institute classes. I was basically coasting through life not really knowing what to do and not going anywhere. I was done with choir which was my whole social life. All my friends were married. I was still finding out what direction my life was taking. But then I got the opportunity to be an EFY counselor this summer! :) (I'll write more about that later!) I got to do 3 weeks in Provo, 3 weeks in Tacoma, and 1 week in Ogden.

About 2 weeks before I left, I started hanging out with John Cozzens. We spent the day together at the park where we had a picnic and played catch. Little did I know at the time, but this would become a crucial day in my life. John and I have always had an up and down relationship when it came to "liking" one another. Our timing was ALWAYS off. I was casually dating 2 other boys at that time but after that day I had the thought that I could like John Cozzens. But I honestly didn't believe anything would happen. I wasn't planning on acting on it. I already had 2 other boys that were occupying most of my time.

The weekend before I left for my first EFY session in Provo, I hung out with John Cozzens. It was filled with long talks, the game "life", musical video games, and guitar playing. It was pretty great. That is when I knew. I knew I liked this boy. And I was pretty sure he liked me too.

I was gone most of the summer but I called John almost every day. I had some very hard and lonely weeks at EFY. Some weeks where my faith was tried and tested. John was my rock. He helped me through the some of the toughest times just by listening and giving me great advice. There was one particular night where I had one of the worst days I've ever had (dramatic, I know). I called John and just sat in the stairwell of my apartment and cried on the phone. I don't remember what he told me, but I remember how he made me feel. It was at that moment that I knew I loved him. And I knew I needed him.

Upon my return home for the summer, and I never left each others sides. One night, as we were hanging out he told me he needed to talk about "his feelings". He then sat there for a moment with his eyes closed and took a few deep breaths. He then told me that he liked me! :) I told him I felt the same and we had a short discussion about how we should go on dates. We went on a date to Lagoon the next week (which is SO expensive!). It was the "first" date we went on while we were actually "dating". John was in a super weird mood though and was singing to strangers. haha (oooh John).

After that, I saw him every single day!! And we were both okay with that. The day I got back from my second to last week of EFY he took me to the Ogden rodeo. My favorite part was when the kiddos rode the sheep! Hilarious! When the cowboys were putting the sheep back into their stalls, there was one defiant sheep that would not move! It took at the cowboys to drag the poor sheep to it's kennel! It was good entertainment. After the rodeo we went to John's house and he held my hand for the first time. :) He gave me butterflies.

Fast forwarding to a month later.... On August 12th, John Cozzens asked me to be his girlfriend. :) He then told me he loved me for the first time. I'll never forget that moment. I have never had anyone look at me the way he did. I've also never loved anyone like I have loved him! :) It was a special moment!

A few weeks later we went to the Ogden Temple open house. Wow was it beautiful!! It has the most stunning pictures in it! I love that even though it's not dedicated, it still has a feeling of peace. I'm so happy that I got to go through it with my best friend. I'm also excited to have the Ogden temple open again. I have greatly missed it, it has always been one of my favorites!!

A few weeks later, John, his sister and I went to Comic Con. :) Okay... so going to comic con is so out of my element. I have never done or gone to anything like that before so I admit I was nervous. I didn't know what to expect. But it was actually a blast! I loved it!! They have SO many booths and speakers. We went to this panel where it was a symphony playing popular songs. It blew my mind! They played star wars, walking dead theme song, Dr. Who, how to train your dragon, and many others. I would have never thought Comic Con would be something I would enjoy, but I liked it and would definitely go again. Especially if I get to go with my man :)

These last few months have come and gone so fast. With school, my new full time job, working at the spa, and having a new boyfriend, there isn't much time for extra activities. But October just ended and that is my favorite time of year! I was able to go to plenty of haunted houses with my co-workers and my partner in crime, Julio! :) (john's not really into that sort of thing) Although John didn't go with me to the haunted houses, he did paint pumpkins with me! :) That is one of my favorite October festivities. I look forward to it every year! We went over to Kayla and Logan's' house and painted/carved pumpkins. He carved his into a batman while I painted mine like minion. :)

These past few months have been amazing, but not even close to where I imagined I would be. If you would have told me 5 months ago that I would be dating and in love with a boy I've known for years, I would have said that you were cray-cray!! I've known John Cozzens for about 5 years now. He has always been one of my closest friends and I never thought we would become more than that. But I'm so happy we did because he makes me so happy. Timing is everything. It took us 5 years to be ready. It still blows my mind that for the last 5 years I have been dating and searching for that person to marry when he was standing in front of me the whole time. Never give up on anyone and never count anyone out. You might miss out on a great opportunity if you do. God knows what we need and when we need it. He see's the big picture. :) I'm sure glad God prepares us and guides us to where we need to be at the time we need to be there. John Cozzens is my best friend and the love of my life and he was SOOO worth 5 years of waiting!!